Bush Causes Global Cooling

The facts are in. Because George Bush caused Global Warming, he is trying to make it up to his co-conspirators - those big oil people who need to sell heating oil.

The word on the street is that Bush has used some of the technology that the black helicopter pilots stole from Tesla and Bush has caused Global Freezing by turning the Interocitor dial too far to the right!

No, I am not talking about -8 degrees F here last night, a week before the St. Paddy's Day parade, no I am talking about the entire month of February. I am also not talking about the Antarctic, which I hope you understand by now, had its coldest year in recorded history in 2006. Nope. It is time to panic, just like Time Magazine said in 1975 - we are going into Global Cooling!

Read on from the Toronto Star, a paper that blames Bush for an off day by the Blue Jays.

February was coldest in 28 years

Mar 05, 2007 12:13 PM

Curtis Rush
Staff Reporter
If you thought February was particularly cold, you were right.

Frigid conditions made the month the coldest February in 28 years, according to Environment Canada’s senior climatologist David Phillips.

Not since 1979 has February dished up such bone-rattling conditions.

The average temperature was -8.4C, which was three degrees colder than normal.

That also made it the fifth coldest February since 1937 when weather records were first kept at what is now Pearson International Airport.

It followed an unusually mild January.

The month was also distinguished by a lack of rain.

Usually in February, the temperature rises enough that we get some rain.

However, this was the first February since 1978 and only the second ever when we didn’t get one drop of rain.

"This was winter at its worst," Phillips said.

Today’s weather will be cold, but there is the promise of spring around the corner.

Environment Canada is predicting temperatures will rise to 3C by Friday.

And although we have had snowfalls right through May in some years, the law of averages suggests we may have had our last snowstorm of the season.

In the months of March, April and May, there is only a 21 per cent chance of any snow falling, according to Phillips.

Environment Canada is also calling for normal temperatures through March, April and May

Oh, you say, "This is just anecdotal and a small snapshot."

Yes, it is. Just remember that when you start talking about Global Warming and dozens of giant hurricanes.

PS: The Interocitor is from This Island Earth