Tipping Smart Cars and Cash-for-Clothing

I can't keep up with all the news, so Greg filled me in on two items:

Item One: Smart Car Tipping. Sure the car weights a few hundred pounds more than a cow, but it won't wake up an attack. Big deal.

This craze started in Denmark, so it must be very sophisticated. Next, it appeared in Canada.

Item Two:

Bill In House: Cash for Clothing

By Jon Swift

Representative Margo Rodriquez, D-Oakland, Ca, has introduced a bill to provide up to $2,500 for old clothing returned to major chains, such as WalMart. This money will go toward the purchase of any clothing, at any store, regardless of where the clothes are made or if the purchaser is an American.

This is how the plan will work: You bring in your old clothing to a selected chain, as defined by the new website to be constructed. That chain will provide you with proof of delivery and estimate the value of the clothing when new. You will receive a voucher that you can be used in any store. Of course, the major chains are taking part in this action in the hope that you will buy new clothes there, but it is not required.

If any store takes a voucher for anything other than clothes, then the manager will be subject to a fine and, if there are three such events, six months in jail. The stores will be reimbursed by the government, once it sets up a Cash for Clothes directorate and is funded by the Congress, with the Presdident's signature.

"Its nice to sign such a audacious bill," President Obama stated at a rally at the airport in Juneau, Alaska, the 57th State, "even if it is an archaic formality to do so. Let me be clear about this, the new plan will help people here get new furs and those in Hawaii new bikinis. What could be more American! We will be redistributing the clothing."

Ms. Rodriquez noted, "Sure, the plan is already controversial, but considering how well the cash for clunkers program is working, it is sure to be a success."

Former President Clinton even joked, at a stop at South of the Border, "Too bad I just bought new shoes!" Former President Bush, when informed of the plan, said, "Yep, I'm not the president, anymore. Have a nice day."

Dupick Moboy, owner of the Hats in the Hoods, Oakland, was excited about this plan, "Somin sez the people got gromin, the power!" He noted that many of his customers will pick up new baseball caps and it will be fine if they leave the sales' ticket still attached.

The bill is slated for vote on September 3, 2009, at 2 am, and to be voted on by the Senate at 6 am. Still, there is some concern that some Senators don't understand how this bill will spur on the economy and a few thought it would be a good idea to get the 700 page bill before 4:30 am.

Senator Clegghorn thought the plan may work but wondered about all the CO2 created when people went to the stores for new clothing. He had the same worry about all the CO2 created when new cars were made, but is now convinced the clunkers bill was a good idea - "People took the money. What a success!"

This highlights the dilemma of governance - the delicate balance between slow death and stimulus.