The Tit-Willow under attack

If you think cries of Big Brother at the hands of the creeping, new world order of fascists are unjustified, an article sent over by Rod is presented:

Panto pirates told to report their plastic swords to the police

Last updated at 20:30pm on 17th January 2008 (Daily Mirror)

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Health and safety risk: Drama group member John Barker with one of the prop swords that had to be reported to the police

If you're in the Cornish village of Carnon Downs and encounter a blood-thristy band of sword-wielding pirates, don't worry. The police know all about them.

For while the pirates are only amateur actors from the local panto, they have been ordered to alert the police that they are using weapons - even though the swords are made of nothing more deadly than plastic.

Not only that, but because of health and safety regulations they have had to promise to keep the pretend cutlasses under lock and key when they are not being used.

Carnon Downs Drama Group has also had to promise that it has made adequate safety arrangements for the toy swords and that the person named to the police as being responsible for the 'weapons' accompanies them whenever they are moved.

The swords must be kept in a secure case and stored in a locked room with restricted access.

Elaine Gummow, co-director of the group's annual pantomime, said yesterday that the situation was absurd.

"Our production this year is Robinson Crusoe, or Cornwall's answer To Pirates Of The Caribbean," she said.

"It would be impossible not to stage it without the use of a few swords and cutlasses, as well as the traditional pop-gun which emits nothing more than a flag which says bang.

"It all seems a bit absurd but it is perhaps a sign of the times that health and safety is everywhere.

"All of us see there's a serious side to this, but I really don't think we pose a threat!"

She said the group first realised it must register the props after being alerted to new legislation on the use of weapons or their replicas in productions by the National Operatic and Dramatic Association.

"There was an article in a recent magazine about the use of weapons in productions," she said.

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Avast!: A scene from the performance of Robinson Crusoe, complete with plastic swords

"It told members that they had to carry out a full risk assessment and follow new health and safety guidelines if any weapons, including replica weapons, are used on stage."

The group told the police that it had no malicious intent and planned to use the weapons in its production - but was then told by police that it must also inform the fire brigade.

Neighbourhood beat officer PC Nigel Hyde said: "I gather we've made a note and it seems a bit unusual.

"But other forms of replica weapons have been used to carry out crimes and the consequences have been serious."

The new regulations cover films and television productions, as well as stage productions